Introvert or Extrovert Does It Matter in a Marriage

It takes all kinds of people to make this world. It is a natural human tendency to categorise people into various "pigeonholes" of definition. Happy, Sad, Arrogant, Rude, Smart, Lazy, etc. are just some of the adjectives used to describe people. The list is endless and actual fact may surprise more than one.

A person perceived as happy may in actual fact be quite unhappy and so on. Two more broad arenas of people types are the introvert and the extrovert. A large majority of people can be broadly classified into these two categories. An introvert is a person who prefers his own company.

As a child, he enjoys his own company and does not show much inclination to join the others. He may have one or two friends who he is close to but on the whole prefers to be by himself. At the school level too he would be quiet and go about his work without a song and dance. As an adult, an introvert would prefer to stay at home and read rather than go out.

Introverts find pleasure in doing things by themselves and will generally avoid going out to parties or social gatherings as far as is possible. It does not mean they do not like people or are unfriendly. It only means that they pick their friends carefully and are particular about when they want company. On the other hand, extroverts are very outgoing by nature. For them life is a party, and they are always ready to go out, go exploring or have impromptu get-togethers.

They need people around them and love to be in the company of friends and family. These people may have a lot of friends but may not have any small select group of friends. They can be relied upon to bring life into any party or get-together by their very infectious joie-de-vivre and happy-go-lucky attitude. Of course, some people force themselves to be the extrovert kind when it goes against their basic mental make-up and this makes them seem loud and brash.

Many a time there is a serious underlying psychological reason for an extrovert being too brash and loud and an introvert being badly adjusted. The extrovert may in reality be asking for assurance and the introvert may have deep seated fears that he is not able to sort out. It is said that opposites attract and this is true in the case of most married couples. Invariably you will find that people who are extroverts find life partners who are the very opposite and who have a calming influence on their lives.

Similarly, introverts tend to look for partners who can bring some life into their rather quiet lives. The problem arises if the extrovert is not able to handle the introvert's quiet moments and cannot fathom why he wants to stay in when she wants to go out or vice versa. The whole idea behind finding a mate whose nature is opposite is then negated if the two are not able to reach a compromise wherein going out and staying in is balanced in such a way that neither feels tied down.

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